


i'm gonna love you inside out

by LoveWithAGirl



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-27
Updated: 2017-01-27
Packaged: 2018-09-20 07:18:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9480839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoveWithAGirl/pseuds/LoveWithAGirl
Summary: They meet in a bar and Kono instantly recognizes him, but he doesn’t offer a last name and neither does she, so it’s not until the following morning when she’s woken up by him answering his phone that she has to admit to herself that she’s in bed with the man set to inherit the branch of Yakuza in Hawai’i.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is pretty canon compliant. We were introduced to Kono and Adam's relationship when they were already together, and I wanted to know more about how they first met and how their relationship progressed with their conflicting careers, so this is a "how it could have happened" story.
> 
> Edit: This was written before the crossover MacGyver episode where we found out how they actually met

They meet in a bar, and Kono isn’t even very buzzed. They meet in a bar and Kono instantly recognizes him, but he doesn’t offer a last name and neither does she, so it’s not until the following morning when she’s woken up by him answering his phone that she has to admit to herself that she’s in bed with the man set to inherit the branch of Yakuza in Hawai’i. Kono likes to think she handles it reasonably well-she lies through her teeth about needing to get home to change for work without saying what she does, kisses him goodbye instead of asking him out to breakfast, and leaves behind a piece of paper with her number but without her last name. 

Kono knows that there’s a chance he won’t call her, and that there’s a chance he’ll try to look her up, and she hates herself a little bit for hoping neither of those come true. She hates herself all over again when Adam calls in the middle of the afternoon to ask her out for drinks after work and she doesn’t even think of consequences before saying yes. Steve asks about the call when he comes to give her a file, and Kono lets her smile go sly while telling him it was a guy from a bar to make him laugh and leave her alone, because he’s not going to judge her for having fun.

She meets up with Adam at the same bar from last night, and again he doesn’t use his last name and neither does she. He mentions offhandedly that he’s glad she agreed to go out again, and Kono pretends not to understand that he thinks she has no idea what the Noshimuri name means. They both skirt around the subject of jobs before finding other topics, and it’s just as easy to talk and flirt as the night before, and this time she doesn’t wait for him but instead asks if she gets to go home with him again.

Adam smiles slowly at that, dark eyes dropping to her mouth before finding hers again, and Kono’s stomach swoops pleasantly when he says yes. They stay for another round of drinks, and she lets him buy hers this time, and when she follows him home she’s nowhere near even slightly buzzed. Kono knows exactly who this is, knows how dangerous he is, but she presses him up against his door as soon as it closes and kisses him slowly anyway, lets him guide her down the hallway to his bedroom, and laughs when she falls into bed with him.

The next morning Kono stays for a second round, slow and intimate like it hasn’t been yet, and then she kisses him in the shower until she gets shampoo in her eyes. She leaves his house feeling good, pleased at how no strings attached it feels and smiling to herself all day.

Two days later Kono calls Adam and asks him out, only the word ‘dinner’ comes out instead of ‘drinks’, and she’s pleasantly surprised at how warmly he accepts. She tells herself it doesn’t mean anything, that it’s not really a date, especially since they’re just going to another bar that serves food, but she finds herself picking out a matching underwear set to wear under one of her nicer tank tops and a pair of dark jeans she knows accentuates her legs anyway. Adam’s eyes still go dark when he sees her, so Kono tells herself again that it’s just sex and that it’s not going anywhere.

\--

They get drinks twice the following week, and then Adam asks her out to a classy restaurant for dinner, and when Kono gets butterflies at seeing him, she has to be honest with herself-it’s not just sex.

That’s when Kono does maybe the stupidest thing she could do-she gets hopeful about and comfortable in her new relationship.

\--

“So, not just a cop, but Five-Oh, huh?” Adam’s voice is mild but she jerks back anyway, stomach dropping and goosebumps forming from the sudden lack of warm contact. His eyes are intense and his mouth is a flat line, lips still red from kissing her good morning, and Kono doesn’t know what to do, words stuck in her throat and body in one tense line because fight or flight instincts come out quickly since she started her job. She swallows hard and makes herself keep meeting his gaze, wills herself to find her voice without backing down, but he beats her to it. “You know, I’m really getting attached to you, so now would be the time to tell me if this is some kind of infiltration operation,” and Kono bristles at that.

“Of course this isn’t! I’m here because I want to be-no one else knows who I’m with.” And that’s dangerous to admit, she hasn’t forgotten who she’s in bed with, but Kono still resents the implication that any of her team would ask her to sleep with someone long term for information, and that he thinks she would go along with it. “Jesus, I would have been playing a lot more dumb and spending a lot more time with your phone if it was,” and Adam actually rolls his eyes at that, frustration evident across his face before he coolly smooths out his expression.

“Well I wouldn’t know if you’d have been on my phone, would I? I’m sure you’re capable of hacking passwords and copying emails when I’m asleep.” It stings because he’s right about her abilities and because he thinks that not only could she do it but that she would. Kono feels off kilter, hurt that he’s accusing her of this and angry that he brought it up in bed, and suddenly she can’t stand it anymore, fights her instincts to protect herself and rolls away so she can grab her shirt off the floor.

“Fuck you, Adam. I mean, can you blame me for not telling you my job?” She pulls her shirt on as quick as possible and slides out of bed, forgoes her underwear to just pull on her skirt, finally turning again to see him getting dressed as well. She swallows down a sudden lump in her throat and curls a hand into a fist, trying to figure out the easiest way to the door without having to put her back to him again. “And how long have you been sitting on this, anyway?” Kono tries to school her face like his but can’t, stuffs her underwear in her pocket and ducks to grab her bra as she slowly starts moving around the foot of the bed. She stops and straightens up when her turns enough to face her fully, eyes closed off as he buttons his shirt.

“Since our third date. I’d been trying to not get so paranoid about hook ups, but after the second time we had dinner instead of drinks I got curious.” That was two weeks ago, and Kono doesn’t know what to do about that, caught between getting out as soon as possible and trying to convince him that she’s here without agenda. “Can you blame me for not saying anything? For all I knew, you picked me up that first night as a target.” She can’t breathe for a second, feels her fingernails bite into her palms as she curls her fists again.

“And you choose now to say something? When we’re in bed?” She can hear the anger in her own voice but doesn’t stop it, confusion and hurt and guilt easily combining. “Like, fuck, you couldn’t have just broken up with me last night before dinner and been done with it?” Kono hates that she can’t read his expression, that he’s holding himself carefully so his body language won’t give anything away either.

“It’s been festering, I suppose, but breaking up with you last night versus this morning wouldn’t have changed your job. Why not have one final good night?” It feels like a slap in the face, like Adam kept quiet to have one more fuck, and the hurt must slide across her face because he shakes his head minutely. “I just wanted to have one last date and pretend that my girlfriend wasn’t probably looking to arrest me.” Kono’s ashamed at the relief that spreads through her, shoves it back down and bares her teeth instead, indignant and still trying to control her emotions.

“I told you, me dating you has nothing to do with my job. You were hot and I wanted you, that’s why I flirted back when you started talking to me in the bar.” There’s a faint ache in her chest, and she’s suddenly so tired, wants to do anything but have this conversation. “I’ve been here, with you, and going out to dinner and drinks and dates with you, because I want to be, because I like you. This has nothing to do with my job.” Adam’s face softens for a moment, and he flexes his hands, stays where he is so there is nothing between her and the door.

“I think you should go. I need some time to figure things out.” And it shouldn’t sting so much but it does, and Kono doesn’t know why when she’s been waiting for this, thought she was ready for him to know about her job, but feelings formed more quickly than she thought and it hurts, to be dismissed. She squares her shoulders anyway, doesn’t ask to stay as she heads towards the doorway, but she does pause once there to look at him again. Adam’s expression is uncertain but his jaw is set, and Kono can’t help herself.

“I knew from the beginning who I was getting in bed with, Adam, and I kept coming back. I never told anyone who I was with, but I was still here.” She keeps the tremor out of her voice and looks him in the eye as he talks, and she feels relieved when he nods, because if this is the end then at least he’ll have listened.

“I’ll call once I figure out what I want to do.” It’s final but open, and Kono leaves at that, unsettled as she slips her shoes on and drops her bra in her purse and makes it out to her car. She pulls her gun out of her glove compartment and instantly feels calmer, leaves it on her passenger seat and keeps her eye on the rearview mirror as she drives home. Once she’s inside her house the nervous energy returns, and she throws her clothes in the hamper and changes into a bikini, gets one of her boards and heads out for the beach. 

She surfs until well past noon, until her stomach is rumbling loud enough that she can hear it over the waves, and when she finally carries her board back to her car and checks her phone there’s a text from Danny. She agrees to meet him for lunch at Kamekona’s, and after a quick rinse she pulls her shorts back on and forgoes her tank top, drives over with her window down and her gun back in the glove box because she deserves to feel better again. The smile that breaks out across her face when she sees Danny in his button down and slacks among the lightly dressed tourists is a surprise to herself, but Kono is more than okay with it, and her friend’s answering smile feels just as comforting as his hug.

“Hey, Danny. What’s new?” His smile falters for a minute at that, and Kono’s stomach drops for the second time that day, her mind suddenly filled with thoughts of Grace and Rachel, and she immediately follows up. “Everything okay?” He nods at that and reaches out to squeeze one of her arms, smile turning reassuring.

“Yeah, rookie, I’m fine. Nothing serious, just uh, wanted to talk to you about something, but let’s get our food first, huh?” She tries to shrug it off, smiles and makes small talk with Kamekona when they order and get their shrimp, but once she sits down across from Danny the knot in her stomach tightens as he rubs a hand over her face. “I’m sorry if this is out of line, but I’m actually a pretty good detective, and you’ve been looking happier, so I just wanted to ask-is there a reason you haven’t told us you’re dating someone? Are you okay?” For a second she can’t breathe, and then she can hear how miserable her voice sounds when she answers.

“It doesn’t matter now, because I don’t think I’m dating him anymore.” His face goes from curious to sympathetic in a second, and Kono is touched by how much her friend cares. “It’s mostly my fault, but I didn’t decide to end it.”

“Well whoever they are, they don’t deserve you. You’re a fucking catch, Kalakaua, and don’t you ever let anyone tell you otherwise. If they can’t see that, then they’re missing out.” She has to reach out and grab one of Danny’s hands, squeezes it and smiles helplessly, because she still feels sad from this morning, but it’s a little easier to bear with a sudden wave of sincere affection. “You need anything? How do you usually get over a breakup? From experience, I’m gonna recommend against getting wasted, but to each their own. I certainly won’t judge,” and she has to laugh at that, which his smile tells her he was hoping for.

“Well I spent the morning surfing, and now I’m hanging out with a friend, so I’ve got my first two steps done. Tonight I’m going to have a beer and watch a funny movie, and then I’ll go to bed early. That’s usually what works for me.” Danny tells her it’s a good plan, then jokes about dreading ever having to tell Grace about her plan when she starts dating, and it makes Kono laugh again. By the time they part ways she feels lighter, and she goes home to shower off the day, changes into comfortable pajamas, gets a beer, and puts on her favorite movie just like she told her friend, because Kono doesn’t mind being a creature of habit when it comes to comforting herself.

She doesn’t bring it up to her team the next day, and neither does Danny, but when Chin goes to get lunch he still brings Kono her favorite candy bar, smiles at her questioning look and gently reminds her that he’s been there for all her break-ups and knows what she looks like after, and Kono loves her cousin fiercely in that moment. Steve must pick up on it, too, because he cuts work with her a little early and takes her to an outdoor shooting range and coaches her through handling a sniper rifle, and maybe her heart is a little broken, but Kono thinks she’ll make it through okay.

\--

It takes one week for Kono to give up on Adam calling her. She finally cries, then, pours herself a glass of wine and lets herself mourn the loss of a relationship, and it’s cathartic and sad and exactly what she needs. She knows she’ll get over it eventually, that there will be other relationships, but for now she admits to herself that she wanted this one, that she still wants it badly, and cries for what could have been. 

Chin, because he knows her and her patterns, shows up once she’s done crying and is on her second glass of wine, flowers in one hand and ice cream in the other, and watches a ridiculous rom-com with her. He picks it apart, smiling wider and wider until he finally makes her laugh, and it’s soothing, tucking her toes under his thigh and arguing about which character has the worst plot.

Two days later, Adam calls in the middle of the workday, and Kono almost hates herself for the way her stomach swoops with hope when she sees his number. She answers, because she needs to know, and his voice is soft when he asks if she’ll meet to talk tonight. She says yes, doesn’t pretend like she doesn’t want to see him again, and she tries to hide from Danny’s knowing gaze for the rest of the day. She doesn’t change before going out, scared and hopeful and not looking to make this seem like anything other than a discussion between exes.

“I miss you,” are the first words out of Adam’s mouth, and Kono says it back without thinking, has to, and it feels like her heart lights up when he smiles across the table at her. “I’m sorry for bringing up your job the way I did,” comes next, his voice soft and sincere, and she knows that she’s going to forgive him. “If you can accept my job, then I can accept yours. I do accept yours. I want to be with you, regardless of what we do professionally.” She reaches for his hand, then, and smiles helplessly when he flips his over to squeeze hers gently.

“So do I.” Adam’s smile brightens, and she knows what she has to do. “Hi, I’m Kono Kalakaua. I work with the Five-Oh task force,” and he squeezes her hand again, voice as warm as his gaze.

“Hi, I’m Adam Noshimuri, and I’m involved with the Yakuza. It’s nice to meet you,” and they can’t completely start over or pick up where they left off, but this is just as good, because this is total honesty, even if it’s just with each other.

\--

“Happiness looks good on you,” she says a few weeks later as she sits next to him, nudging their knees together and letting a smile grow across her face as he watches their little ohana. His smile is soft and his eyes are warm when he turns his head to look at her and takes one of her hands.

“You deserve happiness too, cuz.” Kono just slouches enough to rest her temple against Chin’s shoulder, avoids his gaze and bites her lip to keep from telling him that she thinks she’s found it. He bumps his cheek against the top of her head and squeezes her fingers gently instead of pushing, and Kono can’t believe how lucky she is to have him. She reminds herself to breathe and just live in this moment while she watches Steve pick up Grace while Danny pretends to yell, but she can’t help smiling to herself at the buzz of her phone vibrating in her pocket with what’s likely a text from Adam to double check that she’s coming over tonight.

“I know.” And it’s worth it, hiding her relationship from her family, it’s enough to have this moment now and the one she’ll have tonight, because as separate as they are she really is happy, and that’s all she’s been wanting for the longest time.

\--

‘I love you’ sits heavy on her tongue for a long time, curls up in the back of her throat and refuses to leave. ‘I love you’ is what she thinks when Adam smiles at her from across his dining room table, what she wants to say when he blows a raspberry against her neck just to hear her laugh, what she admits in the dark when he’s snoring and can’t hear her.

“I love you” is what he whispers into her hair as she’s falling back asleep after a nightmare, and “I love you” is what she murmurs against his mouth when she raises her head to look at him after swallowing down her fear.

“I love you” is their constant proof of being enough for each other, through everything they face together and apart, and “I love you” makes Kono believe that forever is a good thing.

“I love you” is what he gives her, again and again, is what she always gives back, and it’s theirs.

They meet in a bar, and make their way to ‘I love you’, and Kono knows they’re going to be okay, no matter what.

**Author's Note:**

> I listened to "Say You Won't Let Go" by James Arthur and "Inside Out" by The Chainsmokers the most while writing this. I hope you enjoy!
> 
> And y'all should definitely come holler at me on [tumblr](https://lovewithagirl.tumblr.com/)


End file.
